UPDATED: It's a tough situation to be in...any advice??

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UPDATE NOT GOING TO LIE~SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT SHE CAN'T ALWAYS BE THE BEST OR FAVORITE OR ALWAYS BE CHOSEN, ETC. AND SHE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY FOR HER BROTHER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS DISAPPOINTED.
THANKS EVERYONE![/size87450062fa]


Well, my husband and I are in a tough situation right now and want to be sure that we handle it correctly.

My 9 yr. old daughter, Ashley, has bugged us for a long time to get into modeling. We always discouraged it. But, we heard about an audition and we decided to take her and her little brother Josh, he'll be 5 in July. We talked about all of the possibilities before we went. Ashley agreed and said she understood that she may get chosen and he not or vice versa or they may neither one get chosen. We always, in the back of our minds, felt like Josh would make it in modeling.

Don't get me wrong, Ashley is a beautiful girl (I do make pretty babies~lol). But, instead we allowed Ash to get involved in other activities that she wanted to when we had originally told her no about modeling. She is in a jazz/hip hop class and is an amazing dancer! I always knew that she would be~I could just tell. She is in a program called "Girls on the Run" and is an excellent runner. They have a 5K race coming up soon (for a 9 yr. old~wow) and she has been training for it twice a week and loves it! She excels in school, especially in reading. She is reading at an 8th grade level and she's only in 3rd grade.

Bottom line, the open auditions were yesterday. We took both of them and were to call this morning between 800 and 830 to find out if either was chosen. This company is one that deals directly with clients, so there is no modeling school and none of that hoopla. Well, they want to work with Josh, but not Ash. I didn't tell her yet, my husband is going to do it when she gets home from school. I don't want to crush her self-esteem at the age of 9! But, my husband and I said that we'd go get some professional pics done and just keep trying for her to get in somewhere and it may be easier if her little brother is already doing it too.

Amber, my 20 year old, said she would be PO'd if we let Josh do it now that Ash can't do it too. Well, actually now she is REALLY, REALLY mad and said that Josh doesn't even care and probably forgot that we went and probably didn't even understand what the whole thing was about, etc., etc. Of course, it's not her decision and so far she is the only one that feels that way.

I feel so bad for Ash, but I am happy for Josh~it's a tough situation to be in. And, who knows, he may not even cooperate and not want to do it. If that's the case, then we will not force it on him. We did see some psycho woman there that was yelling at her son for something and he started crying and wanted to go home, she was really making an ass of herself. I'm not like that at all. I do want the best for them, but would never behave like that.

We just feel that they were both given a fair shot at this and we shouldn't take away an opportunity from him because she didn't make it also. My husband is 11 months younger than his brother and I said if they both tried out for football or wrestling, whatever in high school and one made the team but not the other, would it be fair to not let the other one play? Every person has their own talents and that is what you have to work with. That's what is tough about having more than 1 child.

Out of 680 people, they only chose 25 so that says something about Josh in itself, I guess. We plan on handling this lovingly and try to keep it all positive. But, we are going to lie to her~I know, I know it's wrong. But, it's to protect her feelings and not crush her self-esteem. We plan on telling her that he did get chosen but at this time, they were not going to choose any children between the ages of 6-11.

Help me out here guys. Be honest, but please don't bash me, I'm not one of those moms that enter their kids in pageants or other things like that.

Thank you,
Michelle
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Hmmm... That's tough. Would be a good lesson though. Just shows that people don't always get what they want. Maybe you could put that spin on it. Make sure to tell her that she still did a really good job.

I say you should allow Josh to do it. i know it sucks thou... ) but I am sure your daughter will understand. Plus, it was only 1 audition, and she is good in dancing. You don't know what Josh might end up doing with it, but I say it's worth a try.

If he's going to do the modeling thing, do it now. If he's a model anywhere past 3rd grade, he's begging to get his ass kicked. I wouldn't lie to the 9 year old. Let her know the truth, but do it in a loving way. She has to get over this rejection concept sometime. If she's beyond her years as you say she is, she shouldn't be lied to. She might think less of you if she finds out.

[quote856469de32="bballp6699"]If he's going to do the modeling thing, do it now. If he's a model anywhere past 3rd grade, he's begging to get his ass kicked. I wouldn't lie to the 9 year old. Let her know the truth, but do it in a loving way. She has to get over this rejection concept sometime. If she's beyond her years as you say she is, she shouldn't be lied to. She might think less of you if she finds out.[/quote856469de32]

Dito!

Sounds like an episode of Full house!! I agree, see how Josh will like it, but work really hard at trying to get Ashly in the future. She has a lot on her plate as it is! As many things as I wanted to do growing up, I didn't get to do them all!! My brothers gotto do different things then I!

Best Of Luck!!!!!!

[quoteddf427a912="bballp6699"]If he's going to do the modeling thing, do it now. If he's a model anywhere past 3rd grade, he's begging to get his ass kicked. I wouldn't lie to the 9 year old. Let her know the truth, but do it in a loving way. She has to get over this rejection concept sometime. If she's beyond her years as you say she is, she shouldn't be lied to. She might think less of you if she finds out.[/quoteddf427a912]

If he wants to model (or play the violin, or dance, or whatever it is), he'd do better to have his ass kicked at age 9 than to be conflicted and ashamed at 35. The important thing is to make it clear that the decision is up to him and support him no matter how his peers react.

Somewhat relatedly, my nephew is about 12 years old and in his 5th or 6th year of ballet. Every time I watch him, he seems bored--the way I felt playing piano at his age, which I did because I thought it would make my folks happy. What bugs me about his dancing is that I am not certain he's really into it, not that it's dancing and not mixed martial arts.

I just have a quick question...

what is with the blue font?

That being asked, if you feel you can't tell your daughter the truth and that she is going to get her self esteem shattered blah blah blah, then it sounds like she is one of those kids we all dread to see in the supermarket that scream for the chocolate bar and won't shut up until they get it. Their parents, consequently, to save themselves from embarrassment give into the shenanigans which only promote the behaviour in the child and show the child that "I can have whatever I like".


Also, I see you [i1905c72696]have[/i1905c72696] updated it and the update is a positive one; however, I still had to say this.

Thank you.

I agree with Keith.

Josh should do it if he wants to do it, not because you think he'd be good at it. He might be the best model in the world, but what good would come out of it if he wasn't happy?

You could ask him if he wants to do it, and he may say yes because kids are like that. He may think he'll get in trouble for saying no, or you'll be mad or he's supposed to say yes because you guys like it, but if you can get an honest answer from him then that's the best route to take. If he does like it, great, if not, get him into something he does like.

As for Ashley, tell her the truth (if you haven't already). If you lie and she finds out not only might she think less of you, but she may think that you and your husband don't think she's mature enough to handle the truth and you have to baby her by lying to her.