Stoopid wilderness!

Live forum: http://forum.freeipodguide.com/viewtopic.php?t=69119

JennyWren

06-09-2007 11:03:16

So I'm a fairly independent sorta gal, happy to hike and travel by myself. I I've been camping a few times alone, usually on the Gulf Islands of BC, and done some hiking alone too. I must have some sort of "alone-in-the-wild" curse, though. A few years back I was hiking outside of Victoria alone and came across a cougar on the trail. Luckily, it was already eating something (someone?) else, so it just stared me down while I backed away slowly. I thought that would have been the scariest thing to happen to me but this weekend the curse struck again. I went camping in Manning Park, spent two nights in the drive-in camping then backpacked into one of the wilderness sites to spend a couple of nights out there. The hike was only about an hour and a half but there wasn't anyone else there.

Anyhow...Tuesday morning I'm sitting in my tent, trying to decide if it's worth using one of my remaining pieces of toilet paper, or if I should wait it out, when I hear this very loud CRACK of a branch. A few minutes later, and there's a SNOUT poking under my tent fly. Frickin' hell I was shaking so bad, thought I was bear food for sure. So yeah, it went away, then I decided, "Hey, I think I'm all wildernessed out for now" and booted it home. To make noise along the trail I wrote this little song

[i84fdce1107]The Go Away Song
by Jen, written (mostly) while hiking back from Strike Lake wilderness camp (Manning Park), Sept 4th

This morning in my tent I heard a noise out in the trees,
A cracking, and a snapping, put a knocking in my knees.
Iíd seen your poop on the trail you see
And a moose is much (much!) bigger than me,
So I was hoping youíd just go away
And leave me beÖ

Oh go away, Moose (youíre not invited here).
So go away, Moose (youíre not welcome here).
Just because this tent is meant for two,
Doesnít mean itís meant for me and you.
So go away, Moose, oh go away, Moose.

I sat and I thought and waited and decided it was prudent to put on boots.
I grabbed my car keys and prepared to run away from that big olí Moose.
Then a little closer I heard a shuffling,
And next a rather quiet snuffling.
Oh I was hoping youíd just go away
And leave me beÖ

Oh go away, Moose (youíre not invited here).
So go away, Moose (youíre not welcome here).
Just because this tent is meant for two,
Doesnít mean itís meant for me and you.
So go away, Moose, oh go away, Moose.

Yesterday I had some beans for lunch,
So last night I raised my tent fly up a bunch.
First I heard and then I saw
A hairy nose and a hairy paw
Under my tent fly, figuring me out,
A BEAR was checking out what I was all about!

Oh go away, Bear (youíre not invited here).
So go away, Bear (youíre not welcome here).
That tent fly ainít an invitation,
Thatís just proper ventilation.
So go away, Bear, oh go away, Bear.

Iím sitting there in my underwear trying to think what I should do.
When the snuffling stops, the paw disappears, and the nose vanishes too.
I heard you tromp through the woods with a crash,
And into the river with a graceful SPLASH!
Thank goodness that youíre going away
And leaving me beÖ

Youíre going away, Bear (you were not invited here).
Youíre going away, Bear (you were not welcome here).
I think Iíll sit in my tent and cower
For, oh, at least another hour
Youíve gone away, Bear, you went away, Bear.

So now I sing this go away song as I hike back to my car.
And as I go I wish that it werenít quite so very far.
I think itís best if I get outta there
And make some noise in case I meet ANOTHER bear
I hope youíre happy that Iím going away
And leaving you beÖ

Iíll go away, Bear (Iím not invited here)
Iíll go away, Bear (Ďcause Iím not welcome here)
I know this is where you like to play
So I think Iíd better go away
Iíll go away, Bear, Iím going away, Bear.
Iíve gone away, Bear.[/i84fdce1107]

Here's a pic of where the bear was standing outside my tent

http//www.bookwyrm.ca/hostedimages/beartracks.gif[" alt=""/img84fdce1107]

Stoopid wilderness. I love hiking alone but now I'm thinking I'm better off sticking to playing "The Darkness" late at night with the lights out to get my kicks. lisighli

bballp6699

06-09-2007 13:05:40

http//forum.freeipodguide.com/smilies_mod/upload/4c31e596510554dd81df952fdb3f96c2.gif[" alt=""/img8b2085206d]

FreeOffersNow

06-09-2007 13:08:21

Should have befriended the bear and hitched a ride back.

zdub08

06-09-2007 13:46:43

edit I'm stoopid

TryinToGetPaid

06-09-2007 13:47:21

I like putting a ring of fire around my tent to keep the bears off.

samz465

06-09-2007 20:07:56

I just eat the bears.

d11m

06-09-2007 22:18:24

goodness woman
buy a gun so you don't get mauled by a _

ilikesmemymoney

09-09-2007 17:44:59

hahaha holy crap, thats why i always have a firearm and a big knife in the woods, never know when a bear can come and/or you have to pull a rambo

ilikesmemymoney

09-09-2007 17:46:39

[quote76be70bbfa="TryinToGetPaid"]I like putting a ring of fire around my tent to keep the bears off.[/quote76be70bbfa]

thats actually pretty sick, if ur not joking, id like more details, do you just dig a trench around and fill it with firewood?

zdub08

09-09-2007 17:50:55

lol

TryinToGetPaid

09-09-2007 18:24:28

I dig two trenches, the first one has the fire, which doesn't always keep the nastiest of the bears away. So the second trench I fill with barbed wire. Even the big momma bear can't get through it....

ilikesmemymoney

09-09-2007 18:55:37

[quote4f351cb6d6="TryinToGetPaid"]I dig two trenches, the first one has the fire, which doesn't always keep the nastiest of the bears away. So the second trench I fill with barbed wire. Even the big momma bear can't get through it....[/quote4f351cb6d6]

haha nice, i gotta try that sometime, either that or get an armored rv or something, if only those stupid bears would mind their own business and stop looking for food where we are currently invading their habitat

turbohim

09-09-2007 19:01:05

dance2

JennyWren

09-09-2007 20:10:26

I was pretty sure that I had a knife in the tent (I bring a knife camping with me) but I didn't want to make rustling noises trying to find it. I would never carry a gun, I'd be much more likely to shoot myself in the foot or something!

I had all my food in the bear cache (metal storage about 200 metres away) but I think he might have been smelling my Lik-M-Aid. I'm addicted to the stuff and had it in my tent for a snack, though it wasn't opened. Screw you, bear, I'd fight to the death over my FunDip!