Reasons to Be a Pirate

Alright, tomorrow at my school is "Dress Like A Pirate Day" and I was thinking of making my own shirt. One of the things on it will be Top Ten reasons to be a pirate and I need some help. Take in mind all reasons must be somewhat short, HILARIOUS, and preferably with another meaning (sexual conentation). So I have a few if you can add on

1. All the booty you can handle.
2. People always asking about your "peg leg"
3. Vocabulary consists or "ARRR" and "Matey!"
4. An Excuse to wear a Stupid Eye patch

5. You get to (eventually) meet up with Johnny Depp in a fight.

6. repetition of what you say confirms it as truth (or something about a parot)