Funny Conversation Between Computer Buyer and Salesman

compuguru

11-05-2006 16:50:24

I got this in an EMail awhile back, and just found it again. I get a laugh or two every time I read it. D
[quote54b6b5e317][b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Fry's Electronics. Can I help you?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Mac?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] No, the name is Lou.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Your computer?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Mac?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I told you, my name is Lou.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] What about Windows?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Why? Does it get stuffy?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Do you want a computer with Windows?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I don't know. What do I see when I look out the windows?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Wallpaper.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Software that runs on Windows?
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] No, on the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses. You know, run a business.
What have you got?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Office.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] I just did.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] You just did what?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Recommended something.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] You recommended something?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Yes.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] For my office?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Yes.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Office.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Yes, for my office.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Office for Windows.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I already have an office and it already has windows! Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a proposal.
What do I need?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Word.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] If I'm writing a proposal, I'm going to need lots of words. But what program do I load?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Word.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] What word?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] The Word in Office.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] The only word in office is office.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] The Word in Office for Windows.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Which word in "office for windows?"
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] The Word you get when you click the blue W.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I'm going to click your big W if you don't give me a straight answer. Let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Real One.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Maybe a real movie, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. But what do I need to watch it?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Real One.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] If it's a long movie I'll also want to watch reels two, three and four. Can I watch reel four?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Of course.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Great! With what?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Real One.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Okay, so I'm sitting at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] You click the blue 1.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I click the blue one what?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] The blue 1.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Is that different from the blue W?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Of course it is. The blue 1 is Real One. The blue W is Word.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] What word?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] The Word in Office for Windows.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] But there's three words in "office for windows!"
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] It is?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Yes, although to be fair there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] And that word is the real one?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No. Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Never mind; I don't want to get started with that again. But I also need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on.
What do you have to help me track my money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Money.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] That's right. What do you have?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Money.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I need money to track my money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No, not really. It comes bundled with your computer.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] What comes bundled with my computer?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Money.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Money comes bundled with my computer?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Exactly. No extra charge.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I get a bundle of money with my computer at no extra charge? How much money do I get?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Just one copy.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I get a copy of money. Isn't that illegal?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No. We have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Microsoft can license you to make money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Why not? They own it.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Well, it's great that I'm going to get free money, but I'll still need to track it. Do you have anything for managing your money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Managing Your Money? That program disappeared years ago.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Well, what do you sell in its place?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Money.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] You sell money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Of course. But if you buy a computer from us, you get it for free.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] That's all very wonderful, but I'll be running a business. Do you have any software for, you know, accounting?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Simply Accounting.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Probably, but it might get a little complicated.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] If you don't want Simply Accounting, you might try M.Y.O.B.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] M..Y.O.B.? What does that stand for?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Mind Your Own Business.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I beg your pardon?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No, that would be I.B.Y.P. I said M.Y.O.B.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Look, I just need to do some accounting for my home business. You know--accounting? You do it with money.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Of course you can do accounting with Money. But you may need more.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] More money?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] More than Money. Money can't do everything.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] I don't need a sermon! Okay, let's forget about money for the moment. I'm worried that my computer might...what's the word? Crash. And if my computer crashes, what can I use to restore my data?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] GoBack.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] Okay. I'm worried about my computer smashing and I need something to restore my data. What do you recommend?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] GoBack.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] How many times do I have to repeat myself?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] I've never asked you to repeat yourself. All I said was GoBack.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] How can I go back if I haven't even been anywhere? Okay, I'll go back. What do I need to write a proposal?
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Word.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] But I'll need lots of words to write a proposal.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] No, you only need one Word-the Word in Office for Windows.
[b54b6b5e317]Costello[/b54b6b5e317] But there's three words in...Oh, never mind.
[b54b6b5e317]Abbott[/b54b6b5e317] Hello? Hello? Customers! Why do they always hang up on me? Oh, well. Fry's Electronics. Can I help you?
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