Iron Manchest, Second Chapter!

One of my favorite writers (who also happens to be a good friend) just published the second chapter to his epic tale.

Chapter one was just Awesome, and Chapter two is definitely an excellent read.

I can't wait for Chapter 3!!

PoeticCoding.com[=http//poeticcoding.com]PoeticCoding.com

I would really like to hear your oppinions on his writing, feel free to leave comments on the site.

really no one?

Ok I'll post the first paragraph here, and if you're still not interested then I don't know what to say.

[quote1c8dbf0f1d]He entered the temple of Krugok with the swagger and power of a hurricane on steroids.

The muscles of the man’s arms flexed obscenely against his worn but sturdy woolen tunic in an effortless display of power that cowed the worshipping priests of the temple. The glint of his golden locks brought the lights of the tridodeca candelabras of Krugok to holy shame. And the dangerous bulge of his ever straining manhood against the tight leather of his breaches brought tears of frustration to the eyes of the forcibly chaste sisters of the temple.

“Who are you?” demanded a portly, balding priest standing atop the main altar of worship. “And why do you disturb the holy sanctity of the Temple of Krugok?”[/quote1c8dbf0f1d]

i dont even know where to start

- made-up words? check
- needless obscenity? check
- overly wordy? check

less is more, you can communicate that much in a sentence and i wouldn't have a headache after reading it, either

Thanks for your comment Admin, he appreciates the criticism.