If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris. WHAT?

Live forum: http://forum.freeipodguide.com/viewtopic.php?t=37174

hairyferry

11-04-2006 17:21:04

My buddy sent this to me... I think the subject of this is totally wrong!

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

It is a known fact that when Time magazine awards "The Man of Yearli", there is fine print on the bottom of the cover that says, " libesides Jack Bauer."

Jack Bauer shoots first and...well that's it. He shoots first. Jack Bauer doesn't need to ask questions.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles
away.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jack Bauer way. It's basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What have you done with your life?

Veek

11-04-2006 17:24:55

OK.

ajrock2000

11-04-2006 17:25:59

o rly?

urbanrecon

11-04-2006 17:27:41

lol...doesn't make much sense

williebeamin2000

11-04-2006 17:28:27

no one compares to chuck norris

justinag06

11-04-2006 18:06:04

arent like half of those the same chuck norris jokes just changed to read jack bauer?

CollidgeGraduit

11-04-2006 18:11:09

[quote7d3fb54148="justinag06"]arent like half of those the same chuck norris jokes just changed to read jack bauer?[/quote7d3fb54148]

Nope, most of them are Bauer/24-specific. I've never seen the rest of them used for Chuck Norris.

Wolfeman

11-04-2006 18:12:00

Jack Bauer would snap Chuck Norris in half and spend the next 23 and a half hours banging chicks and smoking cigs...

FreeOffersNow

11-04-2006 18:14:11

Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer

williebeamin2000

11-04-2006 18:50:53

[quote7f4f1198b8="FreeOffersNow"]Chuck Norris > Jack Bauer[/quote7f4f1198b8]exactly

crazyates

11-04-2006 18:56:15

hey, i think you got that little squigly arrow backwards wink it's supposed to go the other way

Wolfeman

11-04-2006 18:57:28

[quote793726352d="williebeamin2000"][quote793726352d="FreeOffersNow"]Chuck Norris < Jack Bauer[/quote793726352d]exactly[/quote793726352d]
I KNOW!

t.money

11-04-2006 18:59:50

[quote9c410ac2dd="CollidgeGraduit"][quote9c410ac2dd="justinag06"]arent like half of those the same chuck norris jokes just changed to read jack bauer?[/quote9c410ac2dd]

Nope, most of them are Bauer/24-specific. I've never seen the rest of them used for Chuck Norris.[/quote9c410ac2dd]

I've seen about half of those as Chuck Norris ones.

hairyferry

11-04-2006 20:41:31

yeah that's the first time I've seen it.

justinag06

11-04-2006 21:23:57

i heard they signed him on another 3 years to 24

bigchan2k

11-04-2006 21:53:12

[quote30539a0b2b="justinag06"]i heard they signed him on another 3 years to 24[/quote30539a0b2b]

Yep, for $40 million.

manOFice

11-04-2006 21:53:44

OK i didn't even read any of this thread but the topic alone is insulting!! Jack Bauer is the man and no one can beat him! If everyone listened to jack, the show would be called 12 not 24

Gigante

11-04-2006 21:56:10

Those are hilarious. I love 24

akalic

11-04-2006 22:56:54

chuck norris > life

h3x

11-04-2006 23:01:16

They both suck equally.

manOFice

12-04-2006 05:43:34

[quoteef00c705a3="h3x"]They both suck equally.[/quoteef00c705a3]

evil evil