Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin
Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here then, is the glorious winner

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder.
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time
it worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat
cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted
a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting
negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and lost a finger.
The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for
his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean
bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed
to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not
wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby
bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to
bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When
asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that
he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head
to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on
the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the
cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man
took the cash from the clerk and fled, leavingthe $20 bill
on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer... $15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store,
a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed
description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove
back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he
replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole
the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed
a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because
he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food
order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor
home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very
sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.
A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to
steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.
__________________

Quality post. All amazing. I really like the mental bus deception.
[quote8e5f61d397="Kidd"]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He
decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the
cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
[/quote8e5f61d397]
I WANT THAT VIDEOTAPE!

I'm a Darwin and this offendedddd me. yYou get a 1 hr bant!

My English teacher was obsessed with the Darwin awards.

The guy in #9 is a complete idiot.

[quote5071f5bf9b="J4320"]The guy in #9 is a complete idiot.[/quote5071f5bf9b]
huh?? they're the Darwin awards, they're all idiots....

Maybe he meant the biggest idiot..

Johnjimjones-I can't stop staring at your god damn avatar.

Wow this is the first time I have said this I think

+KMA )

[quoteec0799bf8b="srichter"]I'm a Darwin and this offendedddd me. yYou get a 1 hr bant![/quoteec0799bf8b]

lol

I heard one that happened last night that should qualify. Really sad ending though. I think it was somewhere around Milwaukee.

A lady wanted to wake up her lazy or drunk husband (can't remember which) from bed. So, she decidede to flick a lit match at him. The bed caught on fire and the entire house burnt down. She was the only one who didn't make it out.

[quote45c9ea9946="tylerc"]Maybe he meant the biggest idiot..

Johnjimjones-I can't stop staring at your god damn avatar.[/quote45c9ea9946]
Even I spend too much time looking at my own avatar.

What I wouldn't give to be those hands..

[quote6aa93ff43a="srichter"]I'm a Darwin and this offendedddd me. yYou get a 1 hr bant![/quote6aa93ff43a]

i was afraid i would offend an idiot and get a 1 hr ban

omg roll

anyways glad you liked um.

[quoteb3755d6746="johnjimjones"][quoteb3755d6746="tylerc"]Maybe he meant the biggest idiot..

Johnjimjones-I can't stop staring at your god damn avatar.[/quoteb3755d6746]
Even I spend too much time looking at my own avatar.[/quoteb3755d6746]

Btw, I take back what I said in the other thread. You should keep the avatar. D

I think the guy who tried to kill the mouse by lighting it on fire should be added to that list... but its still a great list. I like #2 the best.

This shit is so offensive roll

[quote1e5b78bce1="JOSHBOX"]This shit is so offensive roll[/quote1e5b78bce1]


omg i hope u dont press the

http//forum.freeipodguide.com/templates/subSilver/images/icon_report.gif[" alt=""/img1e5b78bce1] button

wow. #4 just got me. + kma for you

funny stuff, that was me in half of those )

ummm, doesn't a person need to take themselves out of the gene pool by killing themselves or rendering their reproductive system useless to earn a true darwin award? i could see all of these for an honorable mention for trying to take themselves out of the gene pool, but failing EXCEPT for the first one.

So funnny. +Karma...