Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris Facts[=http//www.chucknorrisfacts.com/]Chuck Norris Facts

People who are just inviting Chuck to kill them by making up more facts[=http//forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1849778]People who are just inviting Chuck to kill them by making up more facts

My favorites

- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.
- The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris went through puberty before his dad did.

lol, good ole chuck norris...

My favorite chuck norris stuff is Conan O Brians walker texas ranger clips he has on his show seldomly, its so hilarious.

old but still good

KMA+. Got a nice laugh out of that page.

[quotee5b97484fd="hehehhehe"]KMA+. Got a nice laugh out of that page.[/quotee5b97484fd]

Same, there's a facebook group that has a ton of them and they have them for Vin Diesel and Steven Segal. The ones on facebook aren't as great, but there are a few that are awsome.
Vin Diesel is the Reason Waldo is Hiding[=http//purdue.facebook.com/group_profile.php?gid=14609]Vin Diesel is the Reason Waldo is Hiding
Steven Seagal Could Kick Chuck Norris' Ass![=http//purdue.facebook.com/group_profile.php?gid=16155]Steven Seagal Could Kick Chuck Norris' Ass!
Every Time Chuck Norris Sneezes, a Third-world Contry Is annihilated From the Face of the Earth.[=http//purdue.facebook.com/group_profile.php?gid=14606]Every Time Chuck Norris Sneezes, a Third-world Contry Is annihilated From the Face of the Earth.

LOL

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris has two speeds Walk and Kill.


+karma D

lol remember that dumb movie sidekicks? talk about corny...

[quote908a6442cb="tracemhunter"]lol remember that dumb movie sidekicks? talk about corny...[/quote908a6442cb]

shock Turn around, slowly. Chuck is behind you and about to roundkick you to the next plane of existence

[quoteff1d286f1a="tracemhunter"]lol remember that dumb movie sidekicks? talk about corny...[/quoteff1d286f1a]

Useless fact The actor who played the kid with asthma killed himself a few years ago.

Chuck norris doesnt have aids but he gives it to people anyway

Little boy "Walker said I have AIDS"

I've had tons of these stored on my computer for like a year, i didnt read the ones on the facebook site but heres the ones I have if they aren't there. ChuckNorris92 is an old screen name of mine lol


Chuck Norris was the Fifth Ninja Turtle, but he was kicked out when he refused to wear a protective shell and continued to maintain that "Roundhouse Kick" was the only weapon he needed.

When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

The first time that Moses parted the red sea, Chuck Norris closed it back up and said, not on my time bitch.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris is sueing NBC because they infringed on the names of his two legs. "law and Order"

Chuck Norris helped the Egyptians construct the pyramids using a primitive form of the Total Body Gym exercise machine to lift giant stone blocks up great heights.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Each individual hair in Chuck Norris' beard, has a beard of it's own.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.

man these were almost as funny as YTMND back in the day..good times litearsli

http//norrisemo.ytmnd.com/

see u all lie

http//content.ytmnd.com/content/2/c/2c0999095ffc2d05cfde425804ddec79.jpg[" alt=""/imgfce18689ae]
http//selloutchuck.ytmnd.com/

LMFAO

[quote465c08715c]Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. [/quote465c08715c]

[quote1097a4d09f="liquidskin"]Little boy "Walker said I have AIDS"[/quote1097a4d09f]

funniest moment on Conan EVER.

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

[quote535474ce83="tylerc"]LMFAO

[quote535474ce83]Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. [/quote535474ce83][/quote535474ce83]

ahah i was drinking my chocolate milk, then i quickly ran to get a paper towel.. lol