My Instruction Page

This text comes from a page I'm about to put up designed to both enlighten newbies and advertise my referral links. Please comment.

"GRATIS AND THE FREEBIE REVOLUTION
Preface this website is about "freebie" sites, or sites that give away free items after certain conditions are met. My aim is not to advertise these websites but to explain their workings to the uninformed and skeptical (and maybe gather some followers!).

<======INTRO======>

It was perhaps a month ago that I was introduced to the freebie craze currently sweeping the internet. As on every other day, my fingers were busy stumbling through the expanses of the world wide web in search of little artifacts of interest. Hardened by years of travel, I had grown used to spam by then and ignored it at first scent, but one conspicuous forum post caught my attention for some reason. "Visit this site!" the poster proclaimed. "Free iPods for everyone!" My "bullshit" sense tingled like crazy and I laughed a little, but out of boredom and curiosity my finger moved to click. After all, what was the harm in a little afternoon humour?

A few minutes later, I found myself startled in the middle of a bustling internet market. Never did I expect to see such a blatant attempt at advertising - and an outrageous one, at that! - acquire some sense of legality! But my doubts shattered one by one as the hammers of several popular publications came down on any negative rumors surrounding FreeiPods.com and Gratis, its home company. "Legitimate," wrote Wired News! "I'm the third ForeverGeek editor to recieve [an iPod]!", proclaimed Derek of ForeverGeek! The enormous backbone of evidence grew out of all visible proportion, and I had no choice but to accept the craze as something real. Soon after, I discovered that Gratis and several other companies of the same business model had other similar websites with different product offerings. These were fully functional as well.



Free does not mean easy, however, and although I'm convinced that the system works (testimonies and photos don't lie!), I still need referrals (see paragraph 2 below) to receive my goods. If you have a credit card (one is required, but not on the freebie sites themselves - see below), then please read the instructions below, visit the links provided for evidence (if you're skeptical) and help, and subscribe to one of the offers via the links at the bottom of the page.



<======INSTRUCTIONS======>



Gratis, OfferCentric, and Tactical Gear all offer nearly identical programs. After validating your e-mail, pick from a list of sponsors (which include many popular companies like AOL), sign up with one of them for a free trial (make sure there's an option to unsubscribe first), and wait for your subscription to be confirmed by the freebie site. All sponsors require a credit card to register, but as long as you cancel on time, you won't be charged anything. After your subscription is confirmed (which takes anywhere from 1 to 10 days), simply unsubscribe from your sponsor's offer. Your confirmation will not disappear.

The next step is getting your referrals. In order to receive a valid referral, your referee must perform the steps listed above. I recommend starting with friends and branching off into forums, chatrooms, and internet groups. You will be issued a referral link once you register, but try not to spam up the internet with it like so many others have. Instead, find creative methods to convince people to join your cause. Finally, whatever you do, do NOT create duplicate accounts! The freebie networks are starting to take legal actions against scammers.



So how does the system work? Being giant multi-million dollar corporations and all, the sponsors pay the freebie companies enormous sums for every subscription. 6 referrals don't quite amount to an iPod, of course, but profits still accumulate because the majority of users don't actually complete their 5 offers. In fact, many start and end at their introductory offer, so much more money is made than lost.

Here are some links that I'm sure you'll find helpful

FreeiPodGuide - features links, hints, and a comprehensive forum with experienced users and ample evidence!

FreeiPodsGuide - similar name, different site; features instructions

Yet Another Guide - quite comprehensive with instructions, evidence, and even some warnings



<======LINKS======>

And now, without further ado, here are the freebie links you'll need. Be sure to subscribe using these and these alone, for registering elsewhere will not bring me referrals. And you DO want to help me, right?

[REFERRAL LINKS]"

I think it's OK, Good luck getting people to read all of it though (I didn't finish just kinda skimmed). To be honest the first paragraph seems kinda dramatic and some grammar is a bit off. I'm not expert but I notices some sentences were a bit difficult to make sense of. Also, things like "Hardened by years of travel, I had grown used to spam by then and ignored it at first scent, but one conspicuous forum post caught my attention for some reason." are just cheesy. What does travel have to do with spam? I don't get it.

It's like you're trying to make the first part some sort of cool fictional story.

"Hardened by years of travel, I had grown used to spam by then and ignored it at first scent, but one conspicuous forum post caught my attention for some reason...."

Hahaha, sorry I just find it kind of comical. Not trying to make fun of you but you asked for opinions.

Edit OH yeah and I'm not sure all of the advertisers are "giant multi-million dollar corporations."

-J

You NEED drama, good sir, to get people to fall for such sca - er, deals. Other than that, though, you're probably right. I shouldn't write at 11PM... shock

How's the info, though? While I can always rewrite my paragrahps by myself, it's hard to examine the thoroughness of my facts without outside help.

/EDIT

New, compact intro

"The internet has recently adopted several companies offering free items for "referrals". At first glance, these propositions might reek of fraud, but don't be fooled; while too-good-to-be-true deals do blatantly lie 99 times out of 100, Gratis, OfferCentric, and other "freebie" sites (as they shall henceforth be dubbed) intend to get you the product you deserve. Even I at first was convinced that these deals were out to get me, but many testimonies, photographs, and articles - including statements by Wired and CNN - changed my mind. "

Hehe yeah I guess a little drama is OK. But when I read it it sounds almost too thought out, if that makes any sense. Like, the way you're describing it makes it seem too good to be true. Something about using phrases like "tantalizing propositions" and "shall henceforth be dubbed" just don't sound right to me.

Speaking for myself, I'd be more willing to sign up if I saw a simple description and lots of links to news articles/videos and pictures of proof.

This paragraph marks the conclusion of my response to your response (heretofore referred to as "my response"). As I was writing this line I pondered the meaning of the Internet so that I could relate to your harrowing tale of discovery and many battle-hardened years of travel. "Hahaha!" I proclaimed to the Internet Gods as I perused your scribings.


Ahhhh, I got nothin'.

-j

Bravo... XD

No, you're right. I don't know WHAT I was thinking...
What do you think of my revision?

I henceforth dub thee thy king of using too many words to describe something so simple. hehehe.

The revision is better but still just seems too long-winded for me. But for people who just happen to come across the page maybe it'll be fine.

For the record this is how I'd do it

Intro
You want free shiznit right?! Sign up using my link and you'll have a free iPod in no time. If you don't then don't come crying to me when we all have our new iPods and you're still listening to your 8-tracks. You no talent ass clown.

Instructions
1. Click link.
2. Sign up for offer.
3. Congratulations, you're my bitch now.


-j

Except people will simply discard it as spam. You've gotta draw them in and explain things before begging for referrals. D

"ado" might need to be spelled "adieu". Check.