Free FusionCash and/or Blingo ref!

The first person to make me laugh gets me to sign up under them on their choice of either FusionCash.[b0d69dbff23]NET[/b0d69dbff23] (I don't need any porn P) or Blingo. The second person to make me laugh gets whatever the first person didn't claim! Get it? Good. Make me laugh.

Oh, and post here. No PMs please, I'm too lazy to go through em!

Oh and to make it interesting, you can only post ONCE so make it good! This is to prevent just stupid spamming and junk. Any posts and/or edits after your first post will be ignored.

this how google used to work

[img7d1f816a65]http/" alt=""/img400.imageshack.us/img="400/7827/retrogoogle7sz.th.jpg[" alt=""/img7d1f816a65][=http//img="400.imageshack.us/my.php?image=retrogoogle7sz.jpg][img7d1f816a65]http/" alt=""/img400.imageshack.us/img="400/7827/retrogoogle7sz.th.jpg[" alt=""/img7d1f816a65]

You wanna hear a joke?

Woman Rights

I just revised the rules in my first post. bullseye4u and Daggoth are each allowed one more post, but from here out only 1!

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Why does Jesus get alot of chicks?




























Because he's hung like this... http/" alt=""/img171.imageshack.us/img="171/8383/cristovelcopy4sq.jpg[" alt=""/imgb8c0f4c2a8]
works better in person.

a little girl asks her father "Daddy, Daddy, whats a transvestite?"
the father replies "go ask your mother honey, he knows"

http//www.insomnia.pl/2/images2005/20050216235841.jpg[" alt=""/img4b11976fc2]

http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v43/popojijo/peeinggirl.jpg[/img6353d6411c]

So the doctor looks at the three groups in the therapy session, he turns to the first group and says...

"I've concluded that you named your daughter Candy, because of your obsession with food..." The mother bows her head in shame.

He turns to the next group and says, "I've seen that you named your daughter Brandy, because of your addiction to alchohol."

The third mother abruptly stands up and turns to her son saying, "Come on dick, we don't have to stand for this!!"




[b3f0fab6753]Requesting Blingo!![/b3f0fab6753]

I already have dibs on Blingo... How do we know if we made him laugh?

[quoteaf6f836b01="Daggoth"]I already have dibs on Blingo... How do we know if we made him laugh?[/quoteaf6f836b01]

I'll do this ---> lol
P

The jokes were entirely too predictable or I've seen it before. I cracked a smirk at the girl that pissed herself because the photo was so odd, but I have yet to laugh! CMON people, this stuff is humorous, but I want to actually laugh out loud! There are 2 serious refs at stake here! P

http//www.roumieu.com/uncommissioned.php?order=4[]http//www.roumieu.com/uncommissioned.php?order=4

A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.

After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." "You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad, apparently he had the time of his life."

lol ouch.
[img7de9649ae9]http/" alt=""/img275.imageshack.us/img="275/8135/ha3ju.th.jpg[" alt=""/img7de9649ae9][=http//img="275.imageshack.us/my.php?image=ha3ju.jpg][img7de9649ae9]http/" alt=""/img275.imageshack.us/img="275/8135/ha3ju.th.jpg[" alt=""/img7de9649ae9]

[b5126e5278b]If anyone else is interested in signing up for Blingo...PM me!![/b5126e5278b]

[imgcf8603cf7c]http/" alt=""/img275.imageshack.us/img="275/4609/yodamessage28od.th.jpg[" alt=""/imgcf8603cf7c][=http//img="275.imageshack.us/my.php?image=yodamessage28od.jpg][imgcf8603cf7c]http/" alt=""/img275.imageshack.us/img="275/4609/yodamessage28od.th.jpg[" alt=""/imgcf8603cf7c]

aguy's joke made me shudder.

Berky's picture actually made me laugh, I'll admit. Nutshots never get old for some reason.. shrug

So which do you want Berky? You can go ahead and PM me the link.

http//i33.photobucket.com/albums/d58/cyberpunk243/horde.jpg[" alt=""/img37c0325964]

HAHA I crack up every time I see this on my friend's desktop. You are inhuman if you don't think this is funny.

[quote15e9120bb9="kevxross"]aguy's joke made me shudder.

Berky's picture actually made me laugh, I'll admit. Nutshots never get old for some reason.. shrug

So which do you want Berky? You can go ahead and PM me the link.[/quote15e9120bb9]

lol woooo! i thought it would. ill take blingo!

http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/BetterLuckNextTime.jpg[/imgbdd8b05d1a]

3 mice are sitting at a bar late at night in a pretty rough neighborhood trying to impress each other with how tough they are.

the first mouse downs a shot of scotch turns to the 2nd mouse and says "i set off mousetraps with my foot. when the bar comes down, i bench press 20 reps and than eat the cheese"

the 2nd mouse orders up 2 shots of bourbon, downs them, turns to the first mouse and replies, "when i see rat poision, i collect as much as i can, grind it up to a powder and add it to my coffee. it barely even gives me a buzz"

the first and 2nd mice turn to the 3rd mouse. he lets out a long sigh and says to the first 2 " i dont have time for this horseshit I've got to go home and bang the cat"

[quotecb36394fc5="akalic"]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/BetterLuckNextTime.jpg[/imgcb36394fc5][/quotecb36394fc5]

Where is that from? I've been searching for that webcomic forever, but now your image is hosted on photobucket. (

i still think this is funny like i did in elemterary school.

POOP[/size0d7f694e43]


rofl[/size0d7f694e43]

[quote9457fc3845="akalic"]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/BetterLuckNextTime.jpg[/img9457fc3845][/quote9457fc3845]

holy shit that is awesome

ahh it made u shudder??

that means i get another chance...

I once got suspended from 6th grade
So a few weeks before my 6th grade graduation they had a special pool party. Well I got in some trouble and the principal called my mom. He called and he told her that I would be suspended for peeing in the pool. She was rather upset and insisted that many children pee in the pool and I should not be suspended for such a thing. He replied, "most children dont do it off the high dive"

http/" alt=""/img211.imageshack.us/img="211/9913/res8yf.jpg[" alt=""/img5b3d8f0b45]

[img="5b3d8f0b45]http/" alt=""/img211.imageshack.us/img="211/7012/waterhax7lj.jpg[" alt=""/img5b3d8f0b45]

http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/ballerinaslippers.jpg[/imge471ff9507]
[img="e471ff9507]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/SuperLeague.jpg[/imge471ff9507]
[img="e471ff9507]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/screwhahaha.jpg[/imge471ff9507]
[img="e471ff9507]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/cantseeshtcaptain.jpg[/imge471ff9507]
[img="e471ff9507]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/hungry.gif[/imge471ff9507]

http//thatvideosite.com/view/1292.html

[quote3f8140c1b2="akalic"]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/ballerinaslippers.jpg[/img3f8140c1b2]
[img="3f8140c1b2]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/SuperLeague.jpg[/img3f8140c1b2]
[img="3f8140c1b2]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/screwhahaha.jpg[/img3f8140c1b2]
[img="3f8140c1b2]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/cantseeshtcaptain.jpg[/img3f8140c1b2]
[img="3f8140c1b2]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/hungry.gif[/img3f8140c1b2][/quote3f8140c1b2]
Come on, where the fuck do those comics come from?

http//cheston.com/pbf/archive.html

Ok, Joshbox and akalic - it's a battle royale! Each of you post ONE item, the funniest you got! Just ONE thing, not 3 or 4 things in one post! Winner gets my fusioncash ref ;)

[b77fac4783f]How do you make a dead baby float? [/b77fac4783f]
Take your foot off of it's head.

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? [/b77fac4783f]
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

[b77fac4783f]How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? [/b77fac4783f]
Nail its other hand to the floor.

[b77fac4783f]What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby playing in a plastic bag.

[b77fac4783f]How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? [/b77fac4783f]
Stick a javelin through it's head.

[b77fac4783f]How many babies does it take to paint a house? [/b77fac4783f]
Depends how hard you throw them.

[b77fac4783f]What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? [/b77fac4783f]
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

[b77fac4783f]What gets louder as it gets smaller? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby in a trash compactor.

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a Dead Baby and a tree? [/b77fac4783f]
One is legal to hit with an AX.

[b77fac4783f]How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? [/b77fac4783f]
With a blender!

[b77fac4783f]How do you get them out again? [/b77fac4783f]
With tortilla chips!!!

[b77fac4783f]What's white and red and hangs from a telephone wire? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby shot through a snowblower.

[b77fac4783f]Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first? [/b77fac4783f]
So you can see the expression on its face!

[b77fac4783f]What's more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h? [/b77fac4783f]
Stopping it with a shovel.

[b77fac4783f]What's blue and bloated and floating in your beer? [/b77fac4783f]
A dead baby with fetal alcohol syndrome!

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? [/b77fac4783f]
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

[b77fac4783f]What's red and goes round and round? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby in a garbage disposal.

[b77fac4783f]What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall? [/b77fac4783f]
Ripping them off again.

[b77fac4783f]How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? [/b77fac4783f]
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? [/b77fac4783f]
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

[b77fac4783f]What is pink and red and sits in a corner? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby chewing on razor blades.

[b77fac4783f]What is green and sits in a corner? [/b77fac4783f]
The same baby, six weeks later.

[b77fac4783f]What’s the difference between an apple pie and a dead baby? [/b77fac4783f]
You don’t have sex with the apple pie before you eat it.

[b77fac4783f]How are babies and the elderly alike? [/b77fac4783f]
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

[b77fac4783f]What bounces up and down at 100mph? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby tied to the back of a truck.

[b77fac4783f]What's red and dances all around? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby on a barbecue

[b77fac4783f]What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? [/b77fac4783f]
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? [/b77fac4783f]
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

[b77fac4783f]What's small, and shiny, and blue? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby with a plastic baggy over its head.

[b77fac4783f]What's grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? [/b77fac4783f]
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

[b77fac4783f]What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby with forks in its eyes.

[b77fac4783f]What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window? [/b77fac4783f]
A baby in a microwave.

[b77fac4783f]How do you get a baby to run faster? [/b77fac4783f]
Chase it with the lawn mower.

[b77fac4783f]What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion?[/b77fac4783f]
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

[b77fac4783f]What's sicker than driving over a baby? [/b77fac4783f]
Skidding.

[b77fac4783f]What’s the only thing more entertaining than a barrel full of dead babies? [/b77fac4783f]
A barrel full of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

Oh man that brings back memories of a party I was at when I heard all those jokes. We all drunkenly sat around listening to a girl telling those jokes 1 by 1 and just cracking up laughing. Good times, good times.

That's the first time I've ever read enough dead baby jokes to actually feel sickened.

Normally I find those funny.

[quotefc278be194="Admin"]http//cheston.com/pbf/archive.html[/quotefc278be194]

Thank you!!

A first-grader walks into the classroom after recess.

Her teacher asks "Did you have fun outside?"

"Yes," she replies

"What did you do?" asks the teacher

"I played in the sandbox and it was fun"

"Sandbox, that's a complicated word. If you can spell sandbox, I'll give you a cookie."

So the girl does, and the teacher gives her a cookie.

Then a black kid runs in crying. The teacher asks him what's wrong, and he replies

"I was playing in the sandbox, and these kids threw rocks at me"

The teacher says "Ah, that's black racial discrimination. If you can spell that, I'll give you a cookie."

None of those have even made me laugh yet.

[quotecfc1bc46cf="ilanbg"]Come on, where the fuck do those comics come from?[/quotecfc1bc46cf]

My friend sent me a zip with all of them, i requested for them awhile back and my friend just zipped it and sent away, i have no idea sorry.

http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/nosurvivors.jpg[/img04d5e94419]

[quote451a10fc57="akalic"]http/" alt=""/img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/turbo_ja/nosurvivors.jpg[/img451a10fc57][/quote451a10fc57]
That's awful...

[b2b5c494f13]Whats Black and Blue and Doesn't like sex?[/b2b5c494f13]

The nine year old in my closet


[b2b5c494f13]What did the babys face look like when I put it in the blender?[/b2b5c494f13]

I dont know I was too busy masturbating

Wow, these jokes are about as funny as finding out your girlfriend has aids...

[quotee388119424="Skunk"]Wow, these jokes are about as funny as finding out your girlfriend has aids...[/quotee388119424]

smells like a skunk http//forum.freeipodguide.com/smilies_mod/upload/fc58a1528ae98830c9fce758488fd523.gif[" alt=""/imge388119424]







jk

There was a pirate who wanted to drink bad.

So he went with his parrot to the bar and went up to the bar tender and asked for a beer.

Unfortunately he had a steering wheel in his pants which was very odd.

The pirates like, "can i have a beer?", then the bartenders like "uhh u do know u have a steering wheel in your pants don't you?"

then the pirates like ' arrrr its drivin' me nuts'

it sounds funnier when someone says it in person ahaha

[quote226d9faaf7="akalic"]There was a pirate who wanted to drink bad.

So he went with his parrot to the bar and went up to the bar tender and asked for a beer.

Unfortunately he had a steering wheel in his pants which was very odd.

The pirates like, "can i have a beer?", then the bartenders like "uhh u do know u have a steering wheel in your pants don't you?"

then the pirates like ' arrrr its drivin' me nuts'

it sounds funnier when someone says it in person ahaha[/quote226d9faaf7]

Wow, that was probably the worst one yet.

bloodninja Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14 Aight.
bloodninja Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14 I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14 Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja Me too baby.
BritneySpears14 I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14 Hey...
bloodninja I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14 Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Flick of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14 You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja Don't flick with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14 Don't ever message me again you piece of lililili.
bloodninja Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14 Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14 I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14 Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14 I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14 What the flick, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA Oh lililili
BritneySpears14 I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you flick up.
eminemBNJA Oh lililili
eminemBNJA damn I gotta write down your names or something

[quote5fb53d5b85="akalic"]There was a pirate who wanted to drink bad.

So he went with his parrot to the bar and went up to the bar tender and asked for a beer.

Unfortunately he had a steering wheel in his pants which was very odd.

The pirates like, "can i have a beer?", then the bartenders like "uhh u do know u have a steering wheel in your pants don't you?"

then the pirates like ' arrrr its drivin' me nuts'

it sounds funnier when someone says it in person ahaha[/quote5fb53d5b85]
So dumb its funny!

lmfao, its great. Lick these, your sense of humour is as funny as mj being straight

http//www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/razor2.gif[" alt=""/imgd7171c3a30]

http//70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF077BCDealwiththeDevil.jpg[" alt=""/imgcd21c3d857]

[img="cd21c3d857]http//70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF001BCMerryChristmasSurgery.jpg[" alt=""/imgcd21c3d857]