what is your favorite Aristocrats joke?
tracemhunter
20-11-2005 19:03:14
some of you have probably heard of the aristocrats joke and i would like to hear more versions than what i have heard. beware, these jokes are disgusting and vulgar. i will start with the one i first heard from south park. i made it small in case some of you were in this thread on accident. here it is
so this family walks into a talent agency. its the mother, father, son, daughter, and a little baby. the father says to the talent agent, "sir, my family has an amazing act."
"we know that if you would let us perform for you, you would sign us." the talent agent says, "sorry, we dont accept family acts." the mother says, "please sir, just give us two minutes we know you will like our act." the talent agent says, "fine, you have two minutes."
they jump right into it. the mother points at the son and tells him to turn on the boom box. as soon as he starts to play it, his father spins his daughter around, lifts up her skirt, and starts licking her asshole. then the son lays down on the floor and the mother tears off the tear-away pants, squats down, and starts shitting all over him. the father grabs the baby, rips off the diaper, and starts sucking its cock while the son, still with his mother, runs over and starts licking the baby's tiny little balls. now the mother lays down on the floor while the daughter gets high on a chair and starts pissing all over. then the father and the baby take the baby and shove it head first into the mother's vagina while the daughters piss rains down on all of them. they get the baby halfway in so just its legs are sticking out. the son takes his moms shit that was in his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while the baby is still inside the mother until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. the the father stops and says, "and now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." the whole family starts running around the room screaming and laughing with their dicks and tiddies flopping around covered in shit and piss screaming, "ahh, the building is coming down! help!"
the family runs to the center of the room and yells, "TA DA!!" and the talent agent just sits there for the longest time. after that he says, "jesus, that was one hell of an act. what do you call it?" and the father says "The Aristocrats."[/size20627bb851]
so there you have it. i want to see what people have to say about this.
Dude, thats fucking disgusting, ewwwwww!!!!!!!!
J4320
20-11-2005 19:09:38
All I have to say is...... Poor baby....
dug1200
20-11-2005 19:36:43
http//www.cartmanthearistocrat.com/
i know that there is a video section...but this one is on topic
johnjimjones
20-11-2005 19:49:48
[quote99bbe5461e="tracemhunter"]some of you have probably heard of the aristocrats joke and i would like to hear more versions than what i have heard. beware, these jokes are disgusting and vulgar. i will start with the one i first heard from south park. i made it small in case some of you were in this thread on accident. here it is
so this family walks into a talent agency. its the mother, father, son, daughter, and a little baby. the father says to the talent agent, "sir, my family has an amazing act."
"we know that if you would let us perform for you, you would sign us." the talent agent says, "sorry, we dont accept family acts." the mother says, "please sir, just give us two minutes we know you will like our act." the talent agent says, "fine, you have two minutes."
they jump right into it. the mother points at the son and tells him to turn on the boom box. as soon as he starts to play it, his father spins his daughter around, lifts up her skirt, and starts licking her asshole. then the son lays down on the floor and the mother tears off the tear-away pants, squats down, and starts shitting all over him. the father grabs the baby, rips off the diaper, and starts sucking its cock while the son, still with his mother, runs over and starts licking the baby's tiny little balls. now the mother lays down on the floor while the daughter gets high on a chair and starts pissing all over. then the father and the baby take the baby and shove it head first into the mother's vagina while the daughters piss rains down on all of them. they get the baby halfway in so just its legs are sticking out. the son takes his moms shit that was in his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while the baby is still inside the mother until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. the the father stops and says, "and now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." the whole family starts running around the room screaming and laughing with their dicks and tiddies flopping around covered in shit and piss screaming, "ahh, the building is coming down! help!"
the family runs to the center of the room and yells, "TA DA!!" and the talent agent just sits there for the longest time. after that he says, "jesus, that was one hell of an act. what do you call it?" and the father says "The Aristocrats."[/size99bbe5461e]
so there you have it. i want to see what people have to say about this.[/quote99bbe5461e]
I honestly don't know what to say......
whatisntseen
20-11-2005 19:56:33
thats some major shit man...... just WOAH..
Admin
20-11-2005 19:58:51
so this family walks into a talent agent's office and the father's like, "hey, we're the aristocrats".
agroman
20-11-2005 20:06:08
limasturbates furiouslyli
johnjimjones
20-11-2005 20:22:27
[quotebb68bc9e82="tracemhunter"]some of you have probably heard of the aristocrats joke and i would like to hear more versions than what i have heard. beware, these jokes are disgusting and vulgar. i will start with the one i first heard from south park. i made it small in case some of you were in this thread on accident. here it is
so this family walks into a talent agency. its the mother, father, son, daughter, and a little baby. the father says to the talent agent, "sir, my family has an amazing act."
"we know that if you would let us perform for you, you would sign us." the talent agent says, "sorry, we dont accept family acts." the mother says, "please sir, just give us two minutes we know you will like our act." the talent agent says, "fine, you have two minutes."
they jump right into it. the mother points at the son and tells him to turn on the boom box. as soon as he starts to play it, his father spins his daughter around, lifts up her skirt, and starts licking her asshole. then the son lays down on the floor and the mother tears off the tear-away pants, squats down, and starts shitting all over him. the father grabs the baby, rips off the diaper, and starts sucking its cock while the son, still with his mother, runs over and starts licking the baby's tiny little balls. now the mother lays down on the floor while the daughter gets high on a chair and starts pissing all over. then the father and the baby take the baby and shove it head first into the mother's vagina while the daughters piss rains down on all of them. they get the baby halfway in so just its legs are sticking out. the son takes his moms shit that was in his mouth and starts rubbing it all over everyone while the father sticks his cock in the baby's asshole and fucks it while the baby is still inside the mother until he cums all over the baby, the wife, the son and the daughter. the the father stops and says, "and now for our impersonation of the victims of 9/11." the whole family starts running around the room screaming and laughing with their dicks and tiddies flopping around covered in shit and piss screaming, "ahh, the building is coming down! help!"
the family runs to the center of the room and yells, "TA DA!!" and the talent agent just sits there for the longest time. after that he says, "jesus, that was one hell of an act. what do you call it?" and the father says "The Aristocrats."[/sizebb68bc9e82]
so there you have it. i want to see what people have to say about this.[/quotebb68bc9e82]
I honestly don't know what to say......
Tholek
20-11-2005 20:44:29
The lack of a punchline is what makes it funny for the person telling it.. The "jokee" is forced to sit through all of that, expecting a payoff. )
hehehhehe
20-11-2005 21:03:26
I watched "the aristocrats" (not to be confused with the aristocats) movie this past summer, it was pretty funny, everyone in the theater was cracking up the whole time. Watch it if you want to hear various versions of the joke and how it started. Bob Saget's version was the most disgusting/disturbing, and it involved doing something to someone's eye cavity...
drummer_kew_03
20-11-2005 21:16:35
I knew that movie was coming out this summer and it sounded hilarious, but I never could find a place that had it and I've never been able to find a place to download it.
tracemhunter
21-11-2005 04:03:00
[quote6bc07f6a78="drummer_kew_03"]I knew that movie was coming out this summer and it sounded hilarious, but I never could find a place that had it and I've never been able to find a place to download it.[/quote6bc07f6a78]
same
dug1200
21-11-2005 05:15:16
it comes out on dvd in january
Tholek
21-11-2005 08:38:33
There's usually a torrent out there somewhere.
drummer_kew_03
21-11-2005 10:38:53
Awhile back I waited forever downloading a file and it ended up being Aristocats not Aristocrats even though is was labeled Aristocrats.
dug1200
21-11-2005 11:23:38
[quotec11c37449b="dug1200"]http//www.cartmanthearistocrat.com/
i know that there is a video section...but this one is on topic[/quotec11c37449b]
http//www.scottymaconline.com/southparkjoke.wmv
i didnt realize that the 1st one was not working
Peinecone
21-11-2005 12:01:26
where is that southpark clip from? they couldn't possibly play that on comedy central, and it really wouldn't be funny with bleeps in it.
hehehhehe
26-11-2005 23:14:48
You should be able to grab a good screener of the aristocrats now.
SkeetBoopTurd
27-11-2005 00:04:10
there is a movie about the aristocrat joke...haven't scene it yet but it is supposedly just a bunch of comedians telling this joke
drummer_kew_03
27-11-2005 00:06:49
That's what we've been talking about.
Iloveipods2
27-11-2005 08:43:46
wait isn't that joke not suppose to be a joke. It's a joke played on the nervous comedians just to mess them up and confuse them even more. Usually more than 1 comedian takes part in the joke. So that when the ta'da! comes the other older experienced comedian laughs, which will force the confused newbie into laughing. I read about it some time longggg ago
dug1200
27-11-2005 09:47:29
[quoteae993ff325="Iloveipods2"]wait isn't that joke not suppose to be a joke. It's a joke played on the nervous comedians just to mess them up and confuse them even more. Usually more than 1 comedian takes part in the joke. So that when the ta'da! comes the other older experienced comedian laughs, which will force the confused newbie into laughing. I read about it some time longggg ago[/quoteae993ff325]
not really a joke on a comedian....its more of a creativity thing