If AOL made cars

I thought it was kinda funny...dunno if anyone has read it already

1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player{tm}.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it?s the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots?a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/#li@!e?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "good-bye."

lol

lol......i havent heard that one before, but i got this one in an e-mail a few months ago

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
(COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto
industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to
the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part)

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the
car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some
reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five
percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning
light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned
the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to
drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off

lol, I like #6 and #10 for the Microsoft one.

Just think if you had a car made by both AOL & Microsoft.......

lol aol sucks balls.....
but i find that every aol user i've run across swears by aol and defends it like there was nothing better than aol.
linutsli

[quote249f7678c1="vdubgirl"]lol aol sucks balls.....
but i find that every aol user i've run across swears by aol and defends it like there was nothing better than aol.
linutsli[/quote249f7678c1]

yeah i know!

my mother-in-law was destraught when she had to give up AOL when we eventually got broadband.....my wife and i keep hearing about how she never had these kinda problems (not actual problems, its just things with the computer that she doesnt understand or know how to fix) with AOL.

if she could she would go back to AOL......also she doesnt see much of a difference between dial-up and broadband lol. roll

[quote935f259510="theysayjump"][quote935f259510="vdubgirl"]lol aol sucks balls.....
but i find that every aol user i've run across swears by aol and defends it like there was nothing better than aol.
linutsli[/quote935f259510]

yeah i know!

my mother-in-law was destraught when she had to give up AOL when we eventually got broadband.....my wife and i keep hearing about how she never had these kinda problems (not actual problems, its just things with the computer that she doesnt understand or know how to fix) with AOL.

if she could she would go back to AOL......also she doesnt see much of a difference between dial-up and broadband lol. roll[/quote935f259510]

wait, why can't you use aol and broadband together?!? my aunt's still using aol w/a dsl from our phone company... just thange the aol plan to 15 dollars a month.

Hasek.

cos my wife and i live with her, and we could not stand AOL. the broadband we got was through our local ISP/telephone company and it was cheaper than AOL.

i would never use AOL again....let me rephrase that....i would never put AOL on any of my computers again.

[quote31ebd76e89="theysayjump"]cos my wife and i live with her, and we could not stand AOL. the broadband we got was through our local ISP/telephone company and it was cheaper than AOL.

i would never use AOL again....let me rephrase that....i would never put AOL on any of my computers again.[/quote31ebd76e89]

wait, so you WOULDN'T put AOL on any of your computers again but you'd put this... this... fat chinese head on a hot body like that? mrgreen

it must be something with mother in laws.
because mine is nuts about AOL too.
she got pissed when she got suspended for like 60 days because she posted a URL in a chat room.
she always talks about her political discussions in the chat rooms and how she riles everyone up and a lot of people learn things from her.

and she uses AOL with Comcast cable....... linutsli
at least i havent heard her complain about how much AOL sucks.

i use AIM Express at work, cuz its the only chat program that's not blocked......and it SUCKS. P